Figuring out the best way to communicate with a new love interest is always tricky. There’s a lot of questions you need answered, like will they understand your sarcastic text messages? Are they for or against workday g-chat convos? And what’s their stance on late night texts? But most importantly, how do they feel about emojis? Since everyone uses emojis in different ways, how you utilize these text message icons can play a role in how your new relationship plays out. So here’s some tips on what emojis you should use when texting your date – and which ones you should steer clear of.

Before your first date

Use these:

Wink Get your flirt on without getting creepy. A wink is the perfect way to be a bit flirtatious without giving away too much (before you meet someone, even the most innocent selfie can be taken the wrong way). This will let your future date know you’re fun, whimsical, and pretty darn cute to boot.

Ok hand Let your date know everything’s A-OK. Planning a first date is stressful. Help make the process easier by encouraging your date’s choice of venue with an ok hand emoji. Hopefully the positive, upbeat message of this emoji will spill over into your date, and set the tone for a fun time.

Don’t send this:

Princess The diva’s go-to icon. Before you meet someone, use this emoji at your own risk. If you’re using it to describe yourself, you may come off as a diva or high maintenance – and even if you are a diva and proud of it, it’s probably something you don’t want to reveal until after you’ve made your date fall for you – hard.

After your first date

Use these:

Thumbs Up Tell your date you’re into it. Even if you had an amazing time on your first date, it’s always a little tricky to decipher if your date felt the same way. That’s why sending a Thumbs Up will help your date feel at ease, plus break the “will they or won’t they contact me” tension that’s never fun after a good first date.

Ladies Dancing A happy dance. If you had a really good time and you want your date to know it, shoot them these dancing ladies! It’s the emoji equivalent to turning on a happy song and dancing around your room after you kiss your middle school crush at a school dance. So why not share that feeling of pure happiness with your date?

Don’t send this:

Heart The emoji for lovers of love. I’m sorry passionate people, but it’s way too early for love. All this heart will do is make your date question every single aspect of everything you say or do from here on out, looking for hidden meaning and crazy love signals. We all know you’re looking for love, but save the heart for later.

After your first sleepover.

Use these:

Smirk Naughty by nature. This is the suave, cool way to react to taking things to an intimate level with the person you’re dating. The best part about using this emoji is that it allows you to be a little “too cool for school,” but since it’s on a silly emoji guy, it just becomes adorable. Making it the perfect way to celebrate getting a little naughty with your new squeeze.

Tada Celebrate good times. On the opposite end of the spectrum (but still acceptable) is the celebration emoji. It is unapologetic in its happiness at whatever happened between the sheets last night. It had fun and it wants to shout it from the mountains. This is something that would make your date smile happily, then check out their reflection in a storefront, wink and think to themselves, “You did it buddy. You rule.” So if you’re feeling great after the deed is done, why not pass on the good vibes?

Don’t send this:

Scream Oh, the horror! Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad…and even if it was, keep it to yourself! Some of us have egos to protect! And if you’re sending it as a joke – think twice. Certain people are very sensitive about this sort of thing and it could lead to a lifetime of underachieving performance, even if everything works out. In this case, the best thing for everyone is probably saving your screams for the bedroom.

After you’ve made it “official”

Use these:

Heart Eyes Show them they’re the apple of your eye. You’ve been patient and waited until the perfect time, so now I’ll reward you – it’s time to bring out the emoji’s with the hearts in them. Specifically, the happy emoji with heart eyes, a majestic heart-eyed masterpiece. And this is just the beginning. Feel free to start busting out the cat face with heart eyes, kissy face with a heart, or the coveted sparkly heart emojis. But remember to pace yourself!! Too many of anything can be annoying. Even love.

USA The American way. Busting out a flag at a moment like this is not only incredibly patriotic, it’s also the perfect complement to a full on celebration. It’s like you are throwing yourselves a virtual parade to commemorate your leap into couplehood. Uncle Sam will be proud of you both.

Don’t send this:

Poop Leave the potty humor in the bathroom. Come on, you’ve worked so hard and gotten this far with your new love interest, and you’re really going to risk LOSING EVERYTHING by sending an ill-timed poop emoji? If you have the nerve to send this right after you’ve snagged a healthy relationship, more power to ya, but it’s a slippery slope. Be careful. Tread lightly.

Final Thoughts

There you have it – stick to this guide, and your emoji use will help you form a wonderful, meaningful connection in no time. But remember, rules are meant to be broken – after the first date with my current beau, I sent him a text with 25 thumbs up, and he returned it with…25 poop icons. What can I say? It was    at first  .