Turns out, there’s a lot to say about a first date. In part 2 of our First Date Sound Off, our daters delve into what makes a great first date, how to greet your date, and the most dreaded question of all – who should pay the tab? See what our daters had to say, below.

What do you think is the perfect first date activity?

Going to a museum, a quick drink or coffee (Not dinner, movie or anything that traps you).

Is there anything you look for immediately when your date enters that turns you on or off?

Intelligence. Anyone who asks for my astrological sign is out.

How do you generally greet your first date? Hug? Handshake? Wave?

Hug.

In your opinion – who should pick up the check on a first date?

Split 50/50…unless I really feel strongly about the person and I want to signal that I’m interested.

How do you feel about kissing on a first date? If there’s no kiss, do you consider the person just a friend?

Could go either way. I’ve had dates where no physical activity of any sort took place that were most intriguing and I saw the guys again, and there have been ones where it turned into a hook-up and bye bye in less than an hour.

What advice would you give to someone going on a first date with you?

Cliche ahead: just be yourself. I could find something charming in shallowness if I really try, but the pretending guys I have no time/patience for.

What do you think is the perfect first date activity?

I think a meal and drinks are the best, but I notice lately how dates seem to meet at the bar and then we get a drink and figure out if we actually want to move to a table. This is probably the best plan, but I have to learn to be better about just taking the drink…

Is there anything you look for immediately when your date enters that turns you on or off?

Posture. I think it’s the best indicator of where someone is storing emotions in their body, and how they’ve locked themselves up or what emotional blocks they are facing.  Posture doesn’t lie.

How do you generally greet your first date? Hug? Handshake? Wave?

Hug.

In your opinion – who should pick up the check on a first date?

To me, there is no “should” here, it can all be derived via communication. That said, dating is a world of subtle signaling.  If he picks up the check, and I let him: I probably want to sleep with him. If he doesn’t pick up the check, I will not take it as a sign of interest, or as a sign of him being feminist – I’ll take it as a sign that he is not interested, or that he does not value me highly.  On a first date, if I am definitely not interested, I will adamantly offer to cover my half.

How do you feel about kissing on a first date? If there’s no kiss, do you consider the person just a friend?

If I really like a person – the chances are we’re going to kiss on the first date. But there might be other circumstances – like recently I went on a date in the city where my parents live, and they were standing right there when he left. It was clear we’re both attracted to each other and he was cool enough to hang out with my parents on a first date – and I’m sure I’ll see him again if I’m in his city – but we didn’t kiss because it would have been totally awkward.

What advice would you give to someone going on a first date with you?

Practice Tit for Tat.  Be conscious, present, and focused on me. Ask questions, but also reveal yourself. Share fearlessly. Don’t sweat the mainstream stereotypical b.s. (I don’t care how tall you are, ffs).

What do you think is the perfect first date activity?

Meeting for happy hour. If it goes well it can continue into the night. If it doesn’t, there’s always the ‘I have dinner plans’ out.

Is there anything you look for immediately when your date enters that turns you on or off?

Not really. Just that they look presentable!

How do you generally greet your first date? Hug? Handshake? Wave?

Usually a hug. Once or twice there’s been a handshake in there.

In your opinion – who should pick up the check on a first date?

I think the check should be split on the first date. I always go for the split, but if the guy INSISTS on picking it up, I’m okay with that.

How do you feel about kissing on a first date? If there’s no kiss, do you consider the person just a friend?

I think if the date goes well, it’s nice to gauge if there’s any chemistry there with a kiss. But I don’t necessarily think no kiss equals being friend-zoned.

What advice would you give to someone going on a first date with you?

Just to go in with an open mind, and without any expectations.

What do you think is the perfect first date activity?

Meeting at a bar is the old standby for most.  In my experience however, I find that sitting in a loud bar talking while slowly getting drunk tends to be less memorable and let’s face it, is no different then how meeting someone at a bar usually goes. For the best experience, I suggest doing an activity that encourages cooperation and fun.  Escape the Room is a great first date if you really want to get to know someone.  Also, any bar with a Jenga set is a sure fire way to pass the time while getting a healthy dose of competitive play.

Is there anything you look for immediately when your date enters that turns you on or off?

Looking like their profile picture is a turn on. You obviously found the person’s profile pictures attractive, otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed to the date in the first place. If they don’t, that’s a definite turn off.

How do you generally greet your first date? Hug? Handshake? Wave?

If its an impromptu date and the texting between us is short and to the point, ill usually greet them with a handshake.  If I feel like a stronger bond was formed via text (telling jokes, stories, and generally have a better knowledge of the person) I’ll greet them with a more affectionate hug.

In your opinion – who should pick up the check on a first date?

I would say it depends on the nature of the date.  I have had dates where we were both very attracted to each other and this made picking up the check a battle of who was trying to impress the other. On one date I was insistent on picking up the check but was told that I was better off  saving my money and splitting since she didn’t think this was going anywhere.

How do you feel about kissing on a first date? If there’s no kiss, do you consider the person just a friend?

Kissing on a first date is great. Depending on the level of kissing you can get a good idea of how the person feels about you. Cheek kiss at the end is respectable and might just mean that person had a good time and wants to take their time with the relationship.  Handshakes however, mean you ultimately fucked up somewhere on the night and the chances of getting a second date is low. A close lipped kiss on the lips is a seal of approval. if it is reciprocated, this means that the date went great and you want to see the person again. Now, a french kiss at the end of a first date can mean that a strong sexual attraction had been reached and both parties are interested in enjoying each other on a very physical level, very soon and possibly that night if they play their cards right.

What advice would you give to someone going on a first date with you?

Be yourself. I find that most people on the first date will try to act like 20 different people to see what sticks with the date. I know I once changed my entire political stance just to seem compatible with a date that I was really attracted to.  In the end, just be honest and don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself. You’d be surprised how many people find it endearing/charming.

What do you think is the perfect first date activity?

First dates are always better with an activity. Something more than just eating dinner and/or drinking. Even if it is something simple like walking the promenade or walking through a street fair or seeing an exhibit at a museum. This way when you sit down for drinks you have a shared experience, some common ground and time to loosen up a bit. Alcohol also always helps a first date.

Is there anything you look for immediately when your date enters that turns you on or off?

Okay time to get shallow. I have a weird thing with moles. I won’t try to justify or explain it but if there is a large face or arm mole happening then I’m going to have a very hard time getting past that. Sorry, I’m a horrible person.

How do you generally greet your first date? Hug? Handshake? Wave?

Hug. This isn’t a business meeting and the possibility (even if it’s a small possibility) of sex is on the table. Let’s skip the handshake.

In your opinion – who should pick up the check on a first date?

We split. I have had girls try to pay when they choose an expensive place but there is no way I would let that happen. One of the perks of being a lesbian is that we don’t need to play into some stupid patriarchal power structure. *Climbs off soap box*

If we end up going to a second or third location then there is a lot of “I’ll buy this round and you get the next round.” I feel like when that happens you are both saying “I’m having a good time and I’m in this for a few more drinks”. If you offer to buy a round and they refuse to let you then they are probably planning on ending the date after the next drink.

How do you feel about kissing on a first date? If there’s no kiss, do you consider the person just a friend?

It can really go either way on a first date. If the opportunity arises and you are both feeling it then it will happen, but if it doesn’t then that doesn’t mean you didn’t connect. I once prevented a first kiss from happening because whatever I ate and/or drank made my mouth feel really dry and I didn’t want her walking away thinking “gross” or me walking away thinking “could she tell my mouth was dry?”. Kind of sucks the romance out of it.

What advice would you give to someone going on a first date with you?

Just be willing to contribute to the conversation. Nothing is more exhausting than having to carry the entire conversation and nothing you can say will turn me off more than you saying nothing at all. Okay…that’s not entirely true.