Sexuality and gender aren’t black and white, and the LGBTQ community has made great strides in pushing that point. But some people didn’t get the memo.

Despite a growing demand for visibility, mainstream dating sites still don’t include queer and transgender as options. And why is that? Let’s be real. It’s because they’re businesses, and the people who run them have money on their minds. They think that by adding options that aren’t widely understood or accepted, they’ll risk scaring off their main contributors: cisgender and straight users. So even though most of them allow you to identify as gay, they refuse to go the extra step to accommodate their other marginalized members. Therefore, people who can’t properly identify themselves have to settle for choices that are “close enough.” But that’s not good enough.

I’m a queer woman, and because I know how frustrating it is to be misrepresented, I made sure that Mesh doesn’t put anyone in a box. We regret that it’s taken so long for someone to do it, but we’re proud to be the first to allow our queer and transgender members to be true to themselves. It was an easy decision, because we have your best interest in mind. And we know that the spectrum extends far beyond five letters, so this is just a start.

At Mesh, we practice what we preach. We know that your identity is inherent, and we respect it. You don’t need to wear a disguise, because we welcome you just the way you are.

And here’s a message to those other sites: you can wrap yourself up in a rainbow flag and sing along to Macklemore’s “Same Love,” but if you’re strategic about whom you choose to acknowledge, you’re not really an ally, you’re just an opportunist.