Every big city has hostels, and those hostels are teaming with two things: hot international men and occasional bed bug infestations. I’ll be focusing on the men here. I have traveled all over the world and I find hostels to be like a second home. “Oh you’re from Germany? I was at October Fest in Munich last year.” “Oh, you’re from China? I taught a summer camp in Shenzhen.” “You’re from London? What’re your thoughts on the current state of gentrification?” I guess you can say I am the master of small talk. But not everyone is and sometimes chit chat is downright painful. How do you break the ice with a woman from a different culture? How do you warm up to a man you just met who doesn’t speak your language well? What is wingman in French? The following story is a great example of what not to do when meeting someone for the first time who is from another culture.
My visiting Korean American friend Erin had brought me to Ange Noir, a trendy bar/cafe near her hostel to play wingman/escape plan to her potential tourist hookup, to a tall, handsome French man name Roman who had messaged her the night before. Erin has a thing for thick accents and her last boyfriend hailed from Berlin. At first glance, everything matched up. His profile photos had not lied. He told us he was a baker and was in the city to interview for a famous patisserie. There were so many ou’s and ooo’s in his vowels, you could have sworn he was still speaking French. I don’t claim to know much French, but I can decipher just about any accent. Erin, on the other hand, couldn’t understand a word he was saying. “Where are you from?” Roman asked. “I’m American. I was raised in New York but I was born in Korea,” Erin said. “China?” he asked. “Korea.” “Ah, ah Korea. You are Asianic?” he said nodding. “When do you come? When America?” “Excuse me? What? It’s Asian. Asian,” she said leaning in. “When did you come to America?” I repeated for him. “Oh! When I was 5 years old.” “Oh Yes! When you were five years you come here!” He exclaimed. “Yes,” Erin smiled nervously. Now imagine everything you just read happening but at a pace about 10 times slower. At least he was coherent, which was good. He was definitely making an effort to talk to her – language barrier be damned! She was also being a good sport. She wasn’t going to give up easily. I mean, this was a hot French guy who kneads bread with his own two hands. Roman shifted the conversation to his musical preferences. “You like Seeen-deee Lopper?” he asked. “Cindy Lauper?” I translated. “I don’t know,” Erin said, “Who’s that?” C’mon, Erin. Never one to be shy, I belted out the chorus of “Girls Just Want to have Fun.” “Oh yeah,” she said, “that’s really old. Who else do you like?” “Nehr-vah-nah.” “Nirvana?” I presumed. At this point Erin was so frustrated she turned to me asking how I was understanding anything Roman was saying. “You know Tahm Pit-ee?” Roman said. “Who?” she asked. “Tahm Pit -ee, “American Girl.”” After a quick search, I played the song by Tom Petty from the youtube app on my phone to spare us all more singing. The song began and for a moment it got romantic. They stared into each other’s eyes and Tom Petty’s smooth, dulcet tones filled the air. This was what they needed to do. Stop talking and just connect. Just enjoy each other without any pressure of being charming or witty. And then? “Ok, you can turn it off,” Roman interrupted. No Roman NO! This is a bad move, BAD MOVE! “Yeah, that song’s really old, too,” Erin said. Good one Erin, I thought. We all know that when someone is sharing something they like with a stranger they just met and whom they want to impress, they want it dismissed as being out of date. “What do you know about Korea?” she tried. “Um, I don’t know. Tell me a famous song or movie. Maybe I know it.” “I think all the famous songs and movies are only known in Asia,” she said. “Gangnam Style,” I suggested, referring to the mega-one-hit-wonder of 2012. Feel free to let it wash over you as the background track to the rest of this story. “Oh yes!” she screamed, “Gangam style. You must know this song.” “Hmmm, no,” Roman said. We sang the chorus and nothing registered on his face. Psy’s music video literally has billions of clicks. Maybe France just wasn’t into it. Guess that meant it was time to test Erin’s cultural knowledge. “What do you know about France?” he asked. “I took a French history class in college,” she said, shifting in her seat. “I know its history.”
She’s practically the chick holding the flag, she knows so much… also, what happened to that guy’s pants? Is that creeper on the wall staring at a dead guy’s junk? What is even going on here?

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