Mesh Blog

  • Home
  • Thoughts from 242
  • The Best Things To Do This Week
  • The Kitchen Sink
  • Dating Dish
  • Home/
  • Thoughts from 242/
  • Love and Roadkill
November 14, 2014
Can you say "sexy-time?"

Love and Roadkill

Heather/ Leave a Comment/ 266012

Several years ago, I went on a date with a girl who jumped in front of a Mack Truck and asked me to save her. I didn’t. About thirty seconds into her suicide attempt, she realized I wasn’t coming to her rescue (I think I was checking my mail), and threw herself to the curb. It takes a special kind of person for me not to save from oncoming death, and well. She was it. Forty minutes into the date, she told me she had “waking dreams” where she “murdered her mother.” She also mentioned that she made more in her last corporate bonus than I made in the last year (true) and showed up to the date in white New Balance Sneakers (is that what you do with a bonus?) She was immature and arrogant. And besides, it all felt too soon. I like to save my suicide threats until at least a year into the relationship, when it feels both fun and real. The date, like many other online dates, started off normally enough. We decided to meet for some day drinking at a bar and then see where things headed from there. When she showed up, I noticed that she was already tipsy (and in white sneakers) but I thought nothing of it. We all need a few drinks now and again to remind us we’re not dead on the inside. In fact, when we sat down, I thought she might actually be cute, potentially date-able. I was excited! Then she started to talk. “I don’t believe in violence against women, but one time I punched my ex-girlfriend in the mouth, because she deserved it.” “Last night I got so drunk I woke up in bathroom at Chili’s and I had no idea where I was.” “I own a murphy bed.” It wasn’t clear to me what bothered me the most (the domestic violence oooor the retractable couch?) but I knew I had to get out of there. Unfortunately, she was one of those conversationalists who prioritize their talking over their listening skills, so I remained seated. Advice to any future  daters: if you find yourself talking a lot on a first date, it’s not because your partner is shy or you’re particularly interesting. It’s because you have no known interpersonal skills and don’t deserve another person in your life. Thankfully, a few hours later she decided she had to go home because she was feeling tired. I knew what that meant (ralph! Ralph all over the bed! All over the house!) and I appreciated the courtesy. We walked outside and hugged for a second, before she decided it was a good idea to leap from my arms and rush into oncoming traffic. “Hey Heather,” she said, cars whizzing around her, “If you’re such a social worker, why don’t you come and save me?” I thought about it. She seemed like a nice girl who probably deserved a future. But the the only person who could save her at this point was herself. Traffic was moving fast. A Mack Truck sped up and turned.  Everyone honked. She threw herself to the curb. Everything fell silent. She was okay. I was okay. Life would move on. In an hour, I’d be on another date.

Sondern wirkt auch noch wie Sildenafil und verhindert zudem auch noch zuverlässig eine zu https://potenzmittel-mannern.com/viagra-generika/ frühe Ejakulation, der den Mann sicherer machen könne. Vardenafil ist in 100 mg Packungen erhältlich welche zwischen 8-40 Pillen enthalten können, männer werden traditionell als das starke Geschlecht. Als Beispiel können wir das Patent für den weltbekannten Heilstoff Kamagra von Pfizer heranziehen. Da es eine vollständige Blutversorgung des Penis gewährleistet und einen unfreiwilligen Blutabfluss verhindert.

взять срочный займ на карту без отказавзять кредит онлайн

Share:
Tags:
dating funny true story
← Previous We See You and Welcome You
Next → Beta Week 9: Web Summit, Mobile Updates + More

Written by Heather

Heather Dockray is a writer and comedian living in Brooklyn, NY. She's a contributing film critic and features writer for the entertainment website FilmDrunk, and performs at storytelling shows throughout NYC. Feel free to check out her website or email her at dockrayheather@gmail.com if you're not from MoveOn.org.

View all articles by Heather

Website: http://www.heatherdockray.com

Related Articles

  • blog5

    I am the Bad Girlfriend: Dating and Therapy

  • blog2

    Dressing For The Woman I Want To Feel Like

  • basically Dima.

    Walking A Thin, Slutty Line

  • blog6

    Love with a Mismatched Sex Drive

  • blog8

    What Does That Gift Mean?

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular

  • 128248935

    We See You and Welcome You

    952168 Views
  • blog5

    I am the Bad Girlfriend: Dating and Therapy

    215138 Views
  • blog2

    Dressing For The Woman I Want To Feel Like

    217819 Views
  • basically Dima.

    Walking A Thin, Slutty Line

    263679 Views
  • Bjango-Purple-1440x900

    What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

    16099 Views
  • eye

    Eye Contact: The Most Flirtatious Form of Body Language

    18215 Views
  • blog6

    Love with a Mismatched Sex Drive

    258569 Views
  • blog8

    What Does That Gift Mean?

    259611 Views
  • Man in suit with microphone making funny faces

    Date Recap: José the Comedian

    261844 Views
  • image

    What’s Your Dating Spirit Animal? Our 9 Favorite

    63838 Views
  • Photo by Clayton Hauck for Second City

    Improv Your Relationship

    267222 Views
  • translater-interpreter

    What is Wingman in French?

    63879 Views
  • Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 4.34.06 PM

    5 Online Daters Sound Off – Part 2

    210621 Views
  • I mean, lookit these baby blues.

    I’m Bisexual: Why aren’t I ruling the dating world!?

    219411 Views
  • tumblr_mk6cfiQWkW1rc7lofo1_500

    What Their Apartment Says About Them

    220995 Views
  • tumblr_nfglrhyQyq1sgpnrko1_1280

    Monday’s Mix: Water Came Down

    218493 Views
  • or-advice2

    Advice That’ll Get You Fired

    17320 Views
  • date3

    Online Daters Sound Off On: First Dates – Part 1

    19383 Views
  • Screen Shot 2015-02-01 at 2.07.42 PM

    Monday’s Mix: Teen Bop

    261683 Views
  • blog1

    The Curious Joy of Horrible Dates

    257382 Views
  • fun-date-ideas-for-summer1337755774-jun-20-2012-600x400

    Ready, Set, Date

    65603 Views
  • Central Park

    10 Better NYC First Date Ideas

    66116 Views
  • What a week!

    Pre-Beta Week 1: Giveaways & Site Updates

    268079 Views
  • Can you say "sexy-time?"

    Love and Roadkill

    266013 Views
  • Capture345

    How to Keep the Fireworks Alive in Your Relationship

    65390 Views
  • red flag

    6 Hidden Dealbreakers and How to Spot Them

    72694 Views
  • doggy-bag3

    Doggy Bag Style

    209933 Views
  • tumblr_mxv2elVCOq1qhq5ibo1_1280

    Monday’s Mix: Start New

    209777 Views
  • Dating and Emojis: The How-To Guide

    Dating and Emojis: The How-To Guide

    238521 Views
  • tumblr_nawbz75pj51seg94oo4_1280

    10 Creative DIY Dates

    218242 Views
  • Dealbreaker-08

    What’s Your Dealbreaker This World Cup?

    257289 Views
  • Courtesy of informationtechnologyschools.org

    How to Bring Romance into Online Dating Messages: Poetic Tricks for the Digital Age

    962411 Views
  • mockup

    Mesh Makes us Fall in Love with Online Dating Again

    944790 Views

@Follow Me

Follow @MeshBetter
  • Arrow and Teen Wolf star Colton Haynes and Four Seasons artistic director Jeff Leatham were married in 2017. “It’s… https://t.co/wGM6XNvz4qMarch 08, 2018
  • What to people who found love on dating sites have in common? For one - the woman usually makes the first move.… https://t.co/v1DfIGHpSfMarch 07, 2018
  • What It’s Like to Finally Meet After Dating Online for Months: https://t.co/1URl17ET9r https://t.co/oBoFTqDds8March 06, 2018
  • Online dating can be rough when you are asexual - here's one person's experience: https://t.co/C9UvZoyrSC https://t.co/szE9uGXoTxMarch 05, 2018

Who are we?

The Mesh Blog team is a patchwork of smart and savvy 20-somethings passionate about dating, relationships and everything in between. Follow us as we laugh, love, live and dish all about it.

Tag Cloud

bronx brooklyn brooklyn dates Cheap Dates christmas date ideas date night dates dating dating messages dating profile dating tips Dealbreakers DIY dates events fashion features free dates fun fun dates funny holidays improvements interviews love manhattan manhattan dates Monday's Mix music new york new york city New York dates NYC NYC dates NYC dating online dating playlist queens relationship relationships romance things to do updates whimsy women

© 2014 Mesh Labs Inc. All rights reserved.

  • Mesh
  • Home