Mesh Blog

  • Home
  • Thoughts from 242
  • The Best Things To Do This Week
  • The Kitchen Sink
  • Dating Dish
  • Home/
  • Thoughts from 242/
  • Walking A Thin, Slutty Line
June 15, 2016
basically Dima.

Walking A Thin, Slutty Line

Jeongmina Kim/ Leave a Comment/ 1031166

Okay first of all, I am using the word “slutty” here in a totally sex-positive way. I mean it in a SlutWalk, I can wear what I want, I can have sex if I want just like a man can kind of way. My boyfriend has a low sex drive, which is what sent me on this strange journey to find out what I want outside of the relationship. He’s into it. I’m into it. It’s all good.

BUT THIS IS SO HARD OH MY GOD.

I don’t have a problem matching with guys online. I know it’s weird to say this, but I’m what a lot of men consider “hot.” We could get into the whole Asian fetish thing but that’s probably a blog for another day. The bottom line is that since I started online dating, I’ve gone out with a bunch of guys. Free drinks, hooray! Free french fries, hooray! Where’s the sex?!

just lots of staring and drinking

just lots of staring and drinking

NOTHING WAS HAPPENING.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m aloof because I know my boyfriend is back in his apartment and if I wanted to I could call off this hunt and probably force him to watch The Bachelorette with me. That doesn’t make me have a lot of patience with boring guys. Not to be rude, but most guys are very boring to me.

SOOOOOOO

I decided to take matters into my own hands. Sex with a guy!

~~~ ONE SLUTTY DAY ~~~

Meet Dima.

basically Dima.

basically Dima.

He is a crazy hot Russian with mostly good English. We’ve been texting on and off for weeks so it was time to meet. I was pumped up. I had decided that I wanted to have sex with Dima.

We had coffee first, at a place called Cafe Grumpy near his house. The place is super cute. It was kind of a date?

blog1

I could tell Dima wasn’t very nice. He doesn’t really look at me in the eyes very much and he actually asked me to describe my body for him. I had made up my mind, though, so I went through with it.

IT WAS SO BAD.

He was selfish, it was fast, and he was so… absent. He checked his phone midway through, can you believe it? Even though I was totally on board, I felt like a prostitute. When I told him to kiss me he said that he doesn’t kiss. Who is he, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman?!?

He was really hot, but not Pretty Woman hot.

Okay. Major bummer. I FINALLY had sex (the whole point of this) and it was pointless and not as fun as it would have been to see who JoJo sends home on The Bachelorette.

Sooooo I scheduled another date, with a guy called Samir. Samir is a rock climber with a tight body, a cute face, and decent messages.

I had sex with Samir. We don’t do anything first. It was definitely not a date.

IT WAS REALLY GOOD. He was infinitely better in bed than crazy-hot Dima and actually showed some interest in me as a person. Best of all, he was into the whole kissing thing (SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT.) Afterward we snuggled and talked. It turned out we have a lot in common (he is also super into anime) and we talked about wanting to actually, you know, go out on a date.

Sooooooo now I’m a crazy person, because I’m into this guy and I want to see him again and he hasn’t texted me since we hooked up. I shouldn’t be surprised by that!! That’s not what ~ casual sex ~ IS! I’m just so much more of a girlfriend person and AAAAGHHH. Also this is unfair to my boyfriend because I know that most of this is my nasty, oxytocin-poisoned brain that is making me think I care about Sam just because he brought me to orgasm.

blog3

WHY HASN’T HE TEXTED? WE BONDED OVER SEX AND ATTACK ON TITAN?

I didn’t think this adventure was going to be easy, but I thought it was going to be a lot easier once the sex actually started happening. Boy was I wrong. I’m walking a thin line here. It seems like if I have sex with a guy I feel nothing for, I don’t have any pleasure and it feels negative and like a transaction. If I have sex with a guy I think is cool, I start wanting to make it a relationship, which I don’t know if I’m even open to.

Those of you who have tried poly/monogamish/open stuff before, is this really common stuff? How do you deal with it? Email me at CuteJeongmina@gmail.com if you have any advice!

Share:
← Previous Date Night #67: The Best Things to do This Week
Next → Date Night #68: The Best Things to do This Week

Written by Jeongmina Kim

View all articles by Jeongmina Kim

Related Articles

  • blog5

    I am the Bad Girlfriend: Dating and Therapy

  • blog2

    Dressing For The Woman I Want To Feel Like

  • blog6

    Love with a Mismatched Sex Drive

  • blog8

    What Does That Gift Mean?

  • Man in suit with microphone making funny faces

    Date Recap: José the Comedian

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular

  • 128248935

    We See You and Welcome You

    1722916 Views
  • blog5

    I am the Bad Girlfriend: Dating and Therapy

    986034 Views
  • me with the guys who messaged me this week

    White(ish) Lies and Dating: How Honest is Too Honest?

    749334 Views
  • blog2

    Dressing For The Woman I Want To Feel Like

    985522 Views
  • basically Dima.

    Walking A Thin, Slutty Line

    1031167 Views
  • Bjango-Purple-1440x900

    What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

    783774 Views
  • eye

    Eye Contact: The Most Flirtatious Form of Body Language

    787883 Views
  • blog6

    Love with a Mismatched Sex Drive

    1024589 Views
  • blog8

    What Does That Gift Mean?

    1025085 Views
  • Man in suit with microphone making funny faces

    Date Recap: José the Comedian

    1027545 Views
  • image

    What’s Your Dating Spirit Animal? Our 9 Favorite

    828918 Views
  • Photo by Clayton Hauck for Second City

    Improv Your Relationship

    1032067 Views
  • translater-interpreter

    What is Wingman in French?

    828465 Views
  • teach

    Online Dating for Love and English

    725261 Views
  • Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 4.34.06 PM

    5 Online Daters Sound Off – Part 2

    975037 Views
  • I mean, lookit these baby blues.

    I’m Bisexual: Why aren’t I ruling the dating world!?

    983901 Views
  • tumblr_mk6cfiQWkW1rc7lofo1_500

    What Their Apartment Says About Them

    984968 Views
  • tumblr_nfglrhyQyq1sgpnrko1_1280

    Monday’s Mix: Water Came Down

    981585 Views
  • or-advice2

    Advice That’ll Get You Fired

    780105 Views
  • date3

    Online Daters Sound Off On: First Dates – Part 1

    781913 Views
  • Screen Shot 2015-02-01 at 2.07.42 PM

    Monday’s Mix: Teen Bop

    1024014 Views
  • blog1

    The Curious Joy of Horrible Dates

    1019482 Views
  • date3

    Online Daters Sound Off On: First Dates – Part 2

    678741 Views
  • fun-date-ideas-for-summer1337755774-jun-20-2012-600x400

    Ready, Set, Date

    827213 Views
  • Central Park

    10 Better NYC First Date Ideas

    827814 Views
  • kristen-wiig-as-annie-in-bridesmaids-2011

    14 Amazing Responses to “Why Are You Still Single?”

    691895 Views
  • What a week!

    Pre-Beta Week 1: Giveaways & Site Updates

    1029332 Views
  • Can you say "sexy-time?"

    Love and Roadkill

    1026755 Views
  • Capture345

    How to Keep the Fireworks Alive in Your Relationship

    825840 Views
  • red flag

    6 Hidden Dealbreakers and How to Spot Them

    832972 Views
  • doggy-bag3

    Doggy Bag Style

    970868 Views
  • tumblr_mxv2elVCOq1qhq5ibo1_1280

    Monday’s Mix: Start New

    969641 Views
  • Dating and Emojis: The How-To Guide

    Dating and Emojis: The How-To Guide

    999271 Views
  • tumblr_nawbz75pj51seg94oo4_1280

    10 Creative DIY Dates

    978007 Views
  • Dealbreaker-08

    What’s Your Dealbreaker This World Cup?

    1016604 Views
  • Courtesy of informationtechnologyschools.org

    How to Bring the Romance into Online Dating Messages: Poetic Tricks for the Digital Age

    1727016 Views
  • mockup

    Mesh Makes us Fall in Love with Online Dating Again

    1703145 Views

@Follow Me

Follow @MeshBetter
    There is an error in twitter widget, please make sure that you have set up the Twitter API settings

Who are we?

The Mesh Blog team is a patchwork of smart and savvy 20-somethings passionate about dating, relationships and everything in between. Follow us as we laugh, love, live and dish all about it.

Tag Cloud

bronx brooklyn brooklyn dates Cheap Dates christmas date ideas date night dates dating dating messages dating profile dating tips Dealbreakers DIY dates events fashion features free dates fun fun dates funny holidays improvements interviews love manhattan manhattan dates Monday's Mix music new york new york city New York dates NYC NYC dates NYC dating online dating playlist queens relationship relationships romance things to do updates whimsy women

© 2014 Mesh Labs Inc. All rights reserved.

  • Mesh
  • Home