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Author Archives: Heather

November 14, 2014
Can you say "sexy-time?"

Love and Roadkill

Heather/ Leave a Comment/ 1071284

Several years ago, I went on a date with a girl who jumped in front of a Mack Truck and asked me to save her. I didn’t. About thirty seconds into her suicide attempt, she realized I wasn’t coming to her rescue (I think I Continue reading →

August 29, 2014
doggy-bag3

Doggy Bag Style

Heather/ Leave a Comment/ 1015368

Some people like to take space between their relationships, but I’ve always preferred to impale myself head-on. After someone’s dumped me, I try to take at least seven days and dedicate myself to such self-improvement exercises as: “cyberstalking,” “maxing out my debit card,” and “going Continue reading →

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