I think its safe to say that most people, at one point or another in their lives, have fantasized about being famous. It’s not necessarily the type of thing you actively pursue but rather think about it when life gets a bit boring and the thought of a brush with fame is enough to rouse you out of even the most humdrum of situations.

Well, recently, I was almost famous for all of a hot second. As you all know, I’m an avid online dater and equally avid blogger about said dates. So a few months ago, when a friend of mine saw a post on Facebook about an open casting for a TV online dating docu series on ABC, featuring real life New York singles, I obviously had to apply.

A few well-curated pictures and short bio later, (obviously including a link to this blog), I was officially a contender. Within the hour, I’d received an email from a producer over at ABC who wanted me in for a screen test.

I sat back and thought to myself what a weird concept this was—putting myself out there for all the world to see and talking about one of the most private things a person can discuss—their love life with the American public. Nonetheless, I thought, why not? A screen test isn’t a commitment; I might as well at least meet them. Plus, as discussed, fame is a potently enticing notion. And so, the day of the meeting, I obsessed for a bit about what to wear, settled on one of my favorite dresses and headed to their office.

Every interview I’ve had in my life, has been for a job or a date (yes, I think a first date is basically an interview). In these situations, I’ve had a very specific goal in mind, and usually developed a game plan before hand. For job interviews, I know how to bring up my best professional qualities to frame myself in a favorable light. On a date, I have backup topics of conversation in case there are ever lulls. This was the first interview I’d ever been on where I basically had no idea how to handle myself.

With no agenda in mind, I sat down, let the woman adjust my mic and spent the next 45 minutes talking about…myself. What I look for in men, what are my pressure points, my deal-breakers, turn-ons. It was not only strange talking to a complete stranger about my personal life, but even stranger hearing the words coming out of my mouth; I’d never spoken about my dating endeavors so candidly, nor been asked such prying questions. She also told me how the show worked an explained that was I to be chosen, the team would essentially join me on my dates with a camera—a fly on the wall, albeit a nosy fly with a video camera.

We wrapped up what felt like a chat between girlfriends, but I knew was so much more, and I headed out with the promise that they’d be in touch shortly. On my walk home, I continued to reflect about whether I wanted to put myself out there like that and more importantly, the implications of it all, and concluded that the show had the potential to reveal far more about me than I would want. Blogging about dating is one thing. Allowing people in on the dates themselves, quite another. Nonetheless, I figured I’d wait and see what happened, faint thoughts of fame flitting through my mind.

Well, that was a month and a half ago. I still haven’t heard from ABC, though I did follow up once. It seems an ironic twist that they didn’t even have the decency to tell me they ‘Just weren’t that into me’  just like some of my more ambiguous dates.

I’m a believer that things happen for a reason and I’m truthfully not all that devastated that things didn’t work out. Were it to have come down to it, I probably would have turned them down anyway. This blog is about as personal as I want to get about my love life.