Okay! Welcome back, kind friends. This is part two of the primer on how to go on fewer lame dates, and to get out of them when you find yourself in one. Part 1 was all about the pre-date and first-date-moments stuff… now we’re deep into enemy territory. You’re trapped! What can you do?!
6. Lay it out there
Okay, you didn’t plan. There’s no pre-acknowledged friend thing after this, and it’s a Friday. You knew within 15 seconds that this date was gonna be the “nice but boring” type, but you don’t want to be rude. “Hey, just so you know, I probably have to bolt after this.”
7. Plant “Can’t Linger” seeds
Eeeee I forgot about all my stuuuuff
Not comfortable being entirely upfront about your disinterest in making this thing last any longer than it has to? Casually mention things like how long the week’s been, how the N train is kicking your ass these days. Only… make sure he isn’t also on the N. It won’t be a lie – this is New York and you probably are exhausted, right? If your date is perceptive at all, it’ll be pretty obvious that it’s going to be a pretty early evening. Note: not NEARLY effective as # 6.
8. Make it a not lame date.
Okay, he’s telling you more about his job designing decoration pillows than you ever, ever needed to know.
shaduuuuup!!
Alright. Look, this may be your only opportunity ever to learn about the magical world of decoration pillow design. Find a way to be interested! You obviously aren’t going to marry this guy, but you might as well find the spark of what interests you for as long as it takes you to put in enough time to feel polite before you get to leave.
9. Heck, make it not a date!
I did this with a drama guy who moved in similar artistic circles as me. As we sipped our beer (geez, I drink a lot of beer) I was honest: dude, I’m not feeling a spark.
WE ARE NOW FRIENDS THIS IS NOT AWKWARD
He responded that he didn’t feel one either, and we spent the rest of our time talking about how stressful casting can be.
10. Just get the hell outta there.
GOOD LUCK IN LIFE PLEASE DON’T FOLLOW ME
This blog works on the assumption that you don’t want to be rude and bolt. Sometimes, though, you gotta be rude and bolt. I’ve literally only done this twice, and both times it was because I felt unsafe or insulted. Once I had a sister call me with a fairly obvious “emergency,” the other time I just said “have a nice night!” and walked the hell outta there. You don’t owe anything to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.
Hopefully, these tricks will get you out of some lame dates! Aah, to live in a universe where lame dates don’t happen. Did I miss any great methods? Let me know!
