It’s gettin’ real Christmasy around here, you guys. This is partially because Christmas seems to be winning the war against itself, and partially because there just weren’t so many Hanukkah or Kwanzaa events I could find in my extensive activity search. Please! If you know of any, let me know! I would go to a latke party every day of the week.
In the meantime, let’s enjoy a magic show, some ice skating, and some festive parties!
(Please invite me to a latke party.)
TaDa! Theater, 15 West 28th Street, 8:00 PM, $10
I am full of Scrooge-like rage that I was not invited to perform in this insane-sounding Christmas fiesta. Eight actors perform A Christmas Carol based on various film adaptations, including A Muppet Christmas Carol and Scrooge McDuck. The audience gets to play along, too, writing lines that the performers must use and using a horn that forces the performers to spontaneously create a new scene. Be sure to get your tickets in advance, or the Ghost of Christmas Future will show you a night shivering in a Korea town restaurant, slamming soju and eating barbeque with Scrooge-less tears running down your face. That actually sounds pretty fun, but still, go see this awesome show.
Knitting Factory Brooklyn, 361 Metropolitan Ave, 8:30-?, $10 in advance, $15 at the door
This show sounds amazing, and not just because I had to google what a chambong was to fully understand it. There’s a live reenactment of holiday stories by a 6 year-old, which I simply cannot even imagine, stand up galore, and a holiday rendition of “Your Love, The Musical,” a show that often sells out for tickets that cost more than what you’ll pay at the door for this and a score of other seasonal entertainment. Want more incentive to go? By bringing your gently used coat to donate, you can win a very strange novelty drinking apparatus. Okay, I’m not so sold on that aspect, but holy crap, everything else sounds amazing. Give the coat cuz you’re a good person, ya schmuck!
Also, their poster for this event is so cute it hurts my insides.
SAT 12 2nd Annual Sip & Shop
Brooklyn Artists & Fleas, 70 N 7th St, 5:00, Free until you see a clock made from a book
I love this place so much. The last time I went to Artists and Fleas, I walked out with a gorgeous, locally-made leather work backpack for around half of what I had seen at any other place. The first hundred folks who show up get a free “swag” bag, which sounds great, but really, the reason for the season is finding cute gifts made by folks who work hard to do something they love.
Also, drinks! Drinking and shopping! Drinking and shopping and crafts, ho ho!
SAT 12 MoMA PS1 Night at the Museum
MoMA PS 1, 22-25 Jackson Avenue, 9:00 PM – 12:00 AM, $12
When I read the description for this event, I was a bit surprised. For a minute, I dated a very sweet, severely hipster artist who lived in LIC who described PS1 events as being pretty insane- dancing, mass crowds of people, all that. This event promises to be “cozy” and “festive” featuring music and Quebecois fine dining, which I didn’t realize existed. Bottom line: for $12 each, you and a date (or good buddy) get to feel cultured and refined as hell. Go get it!
SAT 12 Santacon
Manhattanish, Saturday, Free till your friend has to bail you out of jail for getting wasted and beating up a flock of pigeons
“Umm…” you whisper, “Jessica… isn’t a flock of sweaty humans wearing Santa suits getting wasted and packing into bars together something approximating your worst nightmare?”
Yes. You are right. But this is an events blog, and you have to know that this is happening. Whether you wear a red suit and haunt my nightmares or go do one of these other events is up to you. Mostly, I guess this post is just to let you know that you haven’t suffered a psychotic break if you see a sea of beer-soaked red polyester floating your way.
SUN 13 Best Friends Super Adoption
The Altman Building, 135 W 18th St, 11:00 AM-7:00 PM, free
BestFriends.org’s description for this event reads, “Picture this: You’re surrounded by hundreds of adorable dogs, puppies, kittens and bunnies.” Here’s the thing. I cannot picture this, because my head will explode out of terminal cuteness. An ex of mine once casually stood in front of me, blocking my view of the street. When I asked him why, he explained “there’s a disabled dog in a wheelchair over there and we don’t have time for you to go nuts over it right now.”
You don’t have to be in the market for an animal to attend this squeal-inducing event. There’s a lottery, a bunch of gifts to buy, and pictures with Santa!
Plus… c’mon. You know your landlord wouldn’t really mind if you had a dog.
MON 14 Monday Night Magic
Player’s Theater, 115 Macdougal St, 8:00 PM, $37.50-79.50
Knife-throwing, tattooed ladies in high heels, disappearing doves- yep, folks, this is old school magic, none of that winkwink Penn & Teller business we tend to see today. To get a feeling for the throwback goodness of this presentation, just check out the website, linked above. Be prepared to take a trip back to the year 1998!
I would categorize this event as being “perfect for out-of-town parents who want to see a show but aren’t that fond of musicals.” It would also be great for “that date who’s a little jaded and wants to see something adorable and fun.” I mean, check out the lineup for this week!
- Rocco (Magic Master & Sleight-of-Hand Champion)
- The Great Throwdini (The World’s Fastest Knife Thrower)
- Peter Samelson (A Little Wild, A Little Wacky, Always Amazing!)
Oh man. If that last one described any one of the dates I’ve had in the past six months, I’d be a much happier woman.
TUES 15 Handel’s Messiah
Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, 10 Lincoln Center Plaza, 7:30 PM-9:00 PM, $29-159
AND THE GLOOOORY THE GLORY OF THE LORD!!!!
I’ve sung this piece. Picture me, wearing suffocatingly tight black pants in a church in Korea, rolling my classical R’s and simultaneously melting at how gorgeous the soloists were and plotting ways to murder them so I could take over their parts and sing them so, so much worse.
Look, you don’t have to be down with Jesus (I’m not) to agree that this piece is pure Christmas perfection. Check it out by professionals, or you could always head over to Immaculate Heart of Mary with me this Friday for a sing-a-long.
I’m agnostic, but I’m about to spend the entire day shouting this entire thing to passersby. “The Q train arrived just as I got to the platform! KING OF KINGS!!! AND LORD OF LORDS!!!
WED 16 Ice Skating at Bryant Park
Bryant Park, 7:00 AM-10:00 PM, skate rental $15-$19
Look, Bryant Park has a frickin’ winter village. The only other place that has that is the North Pole and it’s too cold to ice skate there. Eat some food, hold hands, buy some crafty presents, and head out on the ice! Did you know that it’s ~free~ to skate? They getcha on the skate rental, but heck, ’tis the season.
If you’re super baller, spring for Fast Passes ($22-$28,) which gets you VIP admission (I assume they kiss your skates,) skate rentals and bag check for two.
30 Rockefeller Plaza, 5:30 AM-12:00 AM, free
Picture this. All the above nonsense, only you and some cutie honey with your arms around each other in the forefront. A warning: unless you get there at some odd hour (5:30 AM would be an odd hour- can you believe it opens at 5:30? Those poor chilly guards.) you’re gonna be fighting for space. Get in, get the picture, get out.